One Missing Element

There's one piece-one missing element that we often fail raid data recovery restore address when Little Miss No Name to manifest critical positive change in our lives.

I didn't realize bluegrass this missing element was until one hot summer day while in the midst of yet another of what I will now refer to as a 'hate-love' day.

A 'hate-love' day was the kind that I woke up hating myself for what at first appeared to be no particular reason. Then with sheer determination to make sense of it, I would struggle to once again do what is commonly said that we all "should" do: to love myself.

Well, on one of those 'hate-love' days, as if on cue I woke up with a feeling of hate so unbearable as to have kept myself within its embrace until the late evening hours. At which time, I somehow managed to come to my senses.

Having spent the day in utter misery, I made a conscious effort to immerse myself in loving thoughts about myself.

I thought of all the good things I've ever done to help others in the past. I thought warmly about my light-hearted personality. I thought of the time in 2nd grade when I felt on top of the world proud of myself for delivering a speech I had written myself in front of an auditorium full of students.

Indeed, a sense of self love began to pour through me.

Yet....still it seemed that every loving thought I conjured would sprout a countering hateful thought.

Really, what I am describing here is what is commonly known as resistance.

How is it that I could resist my own conscious effort to simply feel good about myself?

You would think that once a person has decided to feel good that it would be a simple automatic response.

Well, not for me, it wasn't.

Now, I could spend the next few paragraphs trying to explain "why" I had this predicament, but I won't because it doesn't really Deavgycnkcd "why."

These days, with situations like these, what really matters to me is figuring out "how" to get out of my own way so that I can just enjoy life.

So, this is what I figured out:

I hadn't accepted my own hatred of me.

Now, I know that many people would never admit and accept that they hate themselves, but this was the one missing element that I hinted at earlier.

If you really think about it, this missing element is actually just a matter of common sense:

The resistance I felt was merely a manifestation of my refusal to accept that I could hate myself.

Because-wasn't I supposed to love myself? Isn't that what was expected of me?

You see, most of my life I had been telling myself that "I shouldn't hate myself."

So, every time I felt even the slightest sense of dislike towards myself I resisted the feeling.

The irony is that, in such moments, accepting that I did really hate myself is what would free me from my own self-hatred.

The fact of the matter is that although it makes perfect sense that we "should" feel lovingly towards, oftentimes we feel just the opposite. This is a normal part of being human.

I do agree that we "should" strive to self-love again especially when we are at our lowest because it makes sense to do that.

Regardless of our tendency to sometimes attach to the most self deprecating emotions, deep down inside we really do want to be happy.

But in order to do just that--- we've got to be able to accept that human part of us, which sometimes gravitates towards hatred for even our most natural tendencies.

Acceptance is the missing element towards manifesting critical positive change.

With-out it, we can remain indefinitely engulfed in self-hatred.

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